Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Art Post 1: Adoptables Anyone?

Hey Everyone!

So, I'm trying to get back into the swing of doing art a little at a time. Post-op it's really hard for me to sit for any period of time more than like... 3 minutes, so working can get a little tricky, but I'm seeing what I can do.

For right now, I think I'm going to try my hand at adoptables. I've never had a ton of luck with them in the past, which is why I haven't made many... I've seen some people who do nothing but make them it seems and they make bank on them, and usually it's just off of a template. Makes me a little mad, but for no good reason lol. I guess I just wish I had a bit more clout to sell stuff in the art world.

Anyways though, so there's that. I have a lot of projects going on right now and I'm not super eager to do commissions anymore. I wanted to do art for me, and when I do commissions, I never get to... which makes me sad. I just don't have enough time and I'm not the fastest artist under the sun.

Right this second I have a few adoptables I made before that never sold and I want to sell them for pretty cheap right now. I need the money very badly for various things and the $100 bucks from all of them combined I am praying will keep my afloat for a couple weeks. If you want to go check out the designs, here is a link.

And here is a preview of the adorable little guys! Give them a home if you can ^_^

Friday, July 3, 2015

Personal Log 3: Post-Op

It's been almost a week since I was discharged from the hospital. I should have posted something sooner, but between the haze of morphine and a painful recovery, I just haven't had it in me. Even sitting up for more than a few minutes at a time hurts enough to put me to tears.

The surgery was a success, and my loving mother and father were there with me every step of the way. They've been divorced for about fifteen years now, but this was still the first time I've had them in the same room with each other in a cordial, family type way since then. It was kinda awkward at first, but I could tell that they were really trying for me and it made me feel so special. My boyfriend and girlfriend, (yes, I have one of each and no I'm not cheating) wanted to be there too, but we're kinda flat broke at the moment so they had to send their love from afar.

What I had done was something called curettage, where they literally scrape out the tumor from the bone. Apparently it was about the size of a golf ball - no wonder it hurt so much! Anyways though, they decided to try and let it heal on its own rather than grafting a piece of cadaver bone into it. Would have been kinda cool, but it's a good thing they didn't need to. Means that they didn't have to do a lot of extra digging after it. While I was under I got a breathing tube and a catheter for my convenience and comfort. Seriously though, both are horribly irritating after they're taken out. I had a sore throat and unmentionables for days afterwards.

Those discomforts paled in comparison to the first night though. I spent most of it moaning and crying. Even on a morphine drip, it was like someone was hammering a screwdriver into my hip. I was so glad someone was there with me because if I'd been alone I'm pretty sure I would have felt like I was dying.

The pain is better now, but I still can't function without my pills and a walker. I can't walk more than about fifteen feet without it, but I've managed to work up to that much. I can function enough to take care of my basic needs, even though my loves insist on making and bringing me food. I feel very spoiled, but they just tell me to hush when I say so. I'm very lucky to have such wonderful, devoted partners. It'll be about three or more months until I'm walking normally again; a month from now I can go from a walker to a cane, and after that I can go no physical support at all. I'm excited to start training for my hikes again, even if I do have to start from the beginning.

That's about all there is to my recovery news thus far, but I'm sure I'll have more updates in the future. For now I'm dead beat, so I'll be going to bed. Fifteen naps in one day and it's still not enough. At this rate I'll wake up in fifty years like Rip van Winkle.

Well, at least they have fluffy pillows

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Personal Log 2: Pre-Op

Tonight is my last night pre-op for me. I'm nervous and hopeful at the same time, because this operation is a fairly big deal in a number of ways.

On one hand, it's going to be great, because after this I should be tumor free. They'll be checking the tumor again to fully rule out Cancer, but my doctor says that now that it's been evaluated more closely by a number of experts, he believes the chances of that are slim. 

On the other hand, he said I'll probably be walking around assisted for about a month, meaning a walker or cane. Now you gotta remember, I'm pretty young, so the thought of being so crippled and dependent, even temporarily, scares me. 

There's more to it than that too - like how they might graft a piece of a dead person's bone (called an allograft) to help reinforce the bone's structure, and that I'll be out over half a day under anesthesia... But I'll have more on that when I'm back in front of a computer. 

For now I sit and think in the window of my charming little hotel room and wonder what the world has in store for me tomorrow. Hope the world sees you all well. 

Isn't the view pretty?

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Personal Log 1: Introductions

It's not often that life gives you second chances, and when it does they have a tendency to pass by unnoticed until it's too late to act on them. I've recently had a bit of a wake up call though, one that literally had me scared for my life. I was told I had cancer.

I got scared, I got angry. I didn't want to do anything, not even the art that is my passion. I retreated into myself because it felt so grossly unfair. It was a tumor in the bone, and the type they said it was wasn't good... and I've never been in good health to begin with.

My doctor sent me first to a different hospital than I'm being treated at now. They told me that I probably had an Osteosarcoma, and that I urgently needed to start treatment. However, try as I might to set it up, my insurance wouldn't cover it. That hospital wasn't a preferred provider, so I had to find a different one. For almost two and a half months I tried to work with the insurance and my doctor to get in to see someone who could actually treat me... and finally I did.

The next hospital I went to was a much smoother experience. The staff were wonderful and even though it was a long drive, I'm kinda glad the insurance made me go there instead. There was something very strange about the tumor, they said, it wasn't growing like they'd expect. So they took a piece and sent it off to a clinic on the East Coast for further study. Finally after I'd been seeing them there for about a month, I had my answer.

I had two tumors. One was literally growing inside the other one and because of how they looked combined, it seemed like something it wasn't. The best news out of all of it was that both tumors were benign. Aggressive and destructive yes, but they weren't going to be going anywhere else.

Now I'm scheduled for surgery in a week. I'm going to be in recovery for between two to six weeks, depending on how much of the bone they remove, but then that's the end of it. Considering how it felt like it was going, you can understand the wash of relief I felt knowing it wasn't. A whole layer of tension has lifted from my home, and I'm just Aiden again... not Aiden who has cancer.

I know it probably seems corny to have an epiphany about ones life after a dramatic event, but it happened and I have every intention of acting on it. I'm still young, and with youth sometimes can come the sensation that one is immortal. I no longer feel that way, and I know if I do want to live long enough to see my grandchildren and their children... a lot of things need to change; and first among them is that I need to be happy. I guess we'll see how that goes.

I'll post more about the surgery before and after it's performed. Peace out until then.